


Three Graves

by GoringWriting



Series: 3...2...1 [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Canon character deaths, Comforting, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Lancelot (Merlin) Lives, Lancelot is a good bro, M/M, Merlin Needs a Hug (Merlin), Minor Character Death, POV Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Sneaking Around, Sneaking Out, visiting graves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:35:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26982235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoringWriting/pseuds/GoringWriting
Summary: Arthur and his knights find more than a secret lovers meet up when they follow Merlin and Lancelot out of Camelot one night.
Relationships: Freya/Merlin (Merlin), Gwaine/Merlin (Merlin)
Series: 3...2...1 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1991551
Comments: 20
Kudos: 317





	Three Graves

“Is that Merlin?” Elyan’s voice cuts over the table in the tavern. Arthur had given his manservant the night off so he could go to the tavern with the knights and he didn’t need his manservant fretting over him. 

They all look through the small window and sure enough there’s the man heading out of Camelot.

“Where could he be going?” Elyan asks confused and they are even more confused when a few minutes later Lancelot, dressed as a commoner, leaves the same way he had. 

“Ooh perhaps a secret lover’s rendezvous?” Gwaine says suggestively. 

“Gwaine must you be crass? Gaius probably needed a plant of some kind and sent Merlin out to get it and you know how Lancelot dotes on Merlin all the time. Lancelot probably followed him to make sure he would be alright,” Percival says and they nod along because he is the second most expert on Lancelot, Merlin being the first. Just as Lancelot is the foremost expert on Merlin with Gwaine the next in line. 

“Makes sense,” Leon says. 

“Let’s follow them,” Arthur says and they all look at him like he has lost his mind. 

“Two of my subjects are out wandering the woods in the middle of the night. I have been betrayed too many times to let them go unwatched. If they truly are going to collect plants then I will be put at rest and no harm will be done,” Arthur says. 

The knights don’t look convinced but they follow their King anyway because what choice do they have?

Catching up to them, they discover that Lancelot has moved from shadowing Merlin to walking beside him and Gwaine seems to take that as evidence that he was correct but they can see the undercurrent of sadness underneath. They all know he fancies Merlin and him being right would mean that he doesn’t have a chance.

“They’re stopping,” Arthur says and they peek out from the tree line to see Merlin approach three medium sized stones before kneeling by them. Lancelot hangs back and Merlin rubs his hands over his face and with a jolt they realize he is crying. 

“I miss them so much,” they hear Merlin say, almost missing it but somehow they manage to hear what is happening. 

“Tell me about them,” Lancelot says nearly beside Merlin in front of what they now know are graves. Three graves. Three loved ones. Three losses. 

“Will was the first. My mother showed up here at Camelot and told me of bandits laying siege to Ealdor. I left to help and Gwen, Arthur, and Morgana followed me to help. One of the bandits shot at Arthur with an arrow and Will took it for him.”

“Don’t tell me how he died, tell me about him,” Lancelot says softly. 

“Will was...wild. He had no respect for anyone who had not earned it and he was always getting into trouble and getting into mischief. He was a year older than me. He didn’t even make it to being of age. We met when he snuck into my house. He thought my mother might have candy and he found me there. I was inside a lot as a child you know why and he felt bad for me and we became friends and eventually I had to be sent away to Camelot to live with Gaius. Gwaine reminds me of Will a lot and sometimes I worry that I am replacing Will with Gwaine. That isn’t fair to either of them,” Merlin says and Lancelot pulls Merlin into his arms. 

“And Freya? Tell me of her,” Lancelot says. 

“She was beautiful. I took one look at her and I was in love far beyond anything I had ever felt before. She was a Druid,” Merlin says and the knights tense, “when she was younger she killed a man who had attacked her. His mother cursed her for it and the Druids abandoned her. She was brought to Camelot to be executed. I didn’t know about the curse when I freed her. I stashed her beneath the castle and stole one of Morgana’s dresses and some of Arthur’s food. She loved Strawberries.”

Is Merlin an idiot? Falling in love with a Druid and letting one loose inside of Camelot? That’s enough to be tried for treason! They remain quiet for a few moments and Arthur is almost sure they fell asleep when Merlin shifts. 

“I was going to leave Camelot. We were going to run away and live by a lake in the mountains. We would have had children and watched them play and we could have been happy. She was killed the night we were going to leave. She didn’t want me to give up the life I had here. Instead she ran herself and was killed and I was stuck seeing her killer every day but I couldn’t even blame him because she had killed people,” Merlin says. 

“Uther?” Lancelot asks.

“Arthur,” Merlin says softly and Arthur feels his breath knocked out of himself. 

“Arthur?” Lancelot asks. 

“She was cursed to transform into a bastet. Arthur killed her when she was in that form and I carried her away from Camelot and laid her to rest here at the lake, like we had dreamed about. A few years later Gwaine asked me to run away with him after he was banished. He wanted me to come with him but I couldn’t. I needed to be here to make sure Arthur was safe and besides, after what happened with Freya…”

“You were afraid that if you agreed to leave with him something would happen and he would be dead,” Lancelot says. 

“Am I a bad person for loving Gwaine?” Merlin asks softly. 

“No. Many loves enter and leave our lives. To wallow in misery and grief would do nothing but harm to you Merlin. You have seen what’s that done to men older than you and to men with too much power. You loved Freya. She loved you. And she would not want you to deny yourself a companion, a friend, or a lover who would be able to help shoulder your burden,” Lancelot says. 

“The last grave is my father. All my life I never knew him. He left before I was born and my mother told me nothing of him. Then one day Arthur and I are going out on a quest and Gaius tells me that the person we are looking for is my father and I am left in shock. When we found him he didn’t even know that he had had a son. He thought my mother had married...and then he was gone. Dead in my arms after taking an arrow meant for me. I had just met him!” Merlin says and Lancelot holds the smaller man in his arms. 

“Merlin,” Lancelot soothes and tightens his hold. Arthur can see Gwaine aching to run to Merlin and comfort him as well. 

“My mother almost died, Gaius as well. Arthur was bitten by the Questing Beast and I went to the Isle of the Blessed and offered Nimueh my life for Arthur’s. She agreed but took my mother’s instead. I was going to try and trade my life for my Mother’s but Gaius had beaten me there and he was at the foot of the well dead or dying and...and I killed Nimueh and the gods she had summoned to take Gaius’ life took her instead,” Merlin says and Arthur feels a little nauseous at the information being dumped on him. 

He should have never come out here and how did Merlin kill Nimueh? Arthur hadn’t even managed a hit. 

“Merlin. I have always said that you were the bravest of us and if Arthur knew all you had done he would likely knight you,” Lancelot says and Merlin scoffs, “but even the bravest man fears losing the people he loves. I fear losing you. My first friend in Camelot, who called for me because he trusted I would answer. My little brother. Just as I know you would give your life to save someone you must know that the people who love you would do the same for you. Gaius has run right into battle to protect you. Arthur drank what he thought was poison. Gwaine risked banishment or execution for you. I faced immortal soldiers so that you would get the cup of life and empty it. I would have given my life for yours at the Dark Tower if you hadn’t convinced that spirit woman to forego her price,” Lancelot says.

“That doesn’t make me feel better,” Merlin says. 

“It’s not supposed to. It’s supposed to remind you who you are Merlin. Who you are, where you have been, and what the people who love you are willing to do for you. The rest will come in time,” Lancelot says. 

“Do you miss your parents?” Merlin asks. 

“Everyday. When I was younger it felt like I would die from how much their deaths hurt,” Lancelot says. 

“When did it stop hurting?”

“It didn’t, it hasn’t. I ache for them every day. But now I have brothers who wear the same cape I do. A little brother who I love to see get into mischief. A first knight who is more like a mother hen and a King who is a friend. I built a new family that my old one would be proud of. Tell me, do you think they would like Gwaine?” Lancelot asks. 

“Will would. They would have bonded over their hatred of nobles. Will would have threatened him first though because he would worry if someone flirts with me. Especially with how opening affectionate Gwaine is with me,” Merlin says. 

“I’m still waiting for Hunith to meet him. See how wild he is after he has been mothered by her,” Lancelot says. 

“She’s actually visiting next month. I was going to ask her opinion on Gwaine before I even considered if I wanted to take the leap to court him if he was so willing,” Merlin says. 

“I am now praying that I do not have a patrol at that time. I would very much like to watch them meet,” Lancelot says. 

“I think he would have made Freya laugh, something she didn’t do nearly enough. I think more than her freedom, a reason to laugh would be the greatest gift someone could give to her,” Merlin says. 

“And your father?” Lancelot asks. 

“I don’t know. I barely met him. I don’t think he would have approved of a Knight of Camelot for me,” Merlin says. 

“Merlin, I think even the dead can see that Gwaine will never be Camelot’s knight. He will always be yours,” Lancelot says. 

“Thanks Lancelot. But I still don’t know if I can even pursue anything with him. I have so many secrets. It’s not like with you or Will, or Freya who knew everything about me. There are things I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to tell him,” Merlin says. 

“Merlin...you are my friend and I love you but you are being an idiot if you think you can’t tell Gwaine something. The man would fall on his own sword if you asked him to. He would probably kiss a troll if it helped you in some way. That man’s moral compass points straight at you,” Lancelot says with a chuckle. 

Arthur is a bit stunned but he has heard enough. He makes a hand motion and he and the knights move away from the lake and the two men and three graves beside it. 

There is a lot to think about.


End file.
